Hello.

Here comes 5 minutes of my depressive story.

Now I'm sitting on the floor in my room, after a both good/rough day. First of all, Arno had his moose-presentation at school that I promised him i would go to. But this morning he told me that both his parents were going, so then I figured that would be enough, so I decided to stay home. Arno had said earlier this week that it was the first thing in the morning, so I figured L and C would take him to school. They didn't say anything about it, or well, Charlie asked Arno what time we usually leave, so I figured they would take him. Usually Arno and I walk at 8 in the morning.

I went down to my room, and at 8.15 Arno came down to me and said that his mom had come home from her walk and wondered why we were still home.. Not mad or anything, and we still had time to go to school, but it was just wierd.. So Arno and I walked to school and when I got home the alarm was on and nobody was home. I don't really get it. But whatever, that wasn't a big deal.

When I had my free time during the day I made quinoasalad and put the kids sheets in the washing machine (not sure what Lori would think of that since she doesn't want to heat up the house with the dryer hot days, but I didn't consider it hot today and I don't think the dryer makes the house hot anyway). I skyped with Sofie (it was her birthday!!) which was fun, as always! I love our long talks!

I had lunch and took Vespa out for a walk. When I got home I started to watch "Maria Larssons eviga ögonblick" which wasn't either bad or good (I haven't finished it yet). I called the bus company and cancelled the tickets to NY since I have to work that weekend. I completely forgot to put the kids sheets back when they were ready, but I did that later with Arno so that was no problem. Arno and I had a pretty good time together when he got off school. We played american football and just fooled around. Lori had just bought a new gas-grill and asked if I wanted burgers with them tonight. Sure. I would rather eat my salad in the car while waiting for Arno's gymnastic, but ok. I never have dinner with them, so I think I "owe" them that. While Arno had gymnastics I went to Michael's to buy some wire for our midsummer wreaths. I also bought some sewing kits and an american flag. I had a pretty good day so far.

But when we got home I got really tired and just sick of everything. Arno asked why the table was set for five, which I can udnerstand since I don't eat with them very often, but it still makes me feel like an outsider. When I got up from the basement I overheard Mirea and Lori when they talked about a soda Charlie usually wants. It is on the grocery list but the stores never have the two flavors they have written, so this time I bought another flavor. I heard Lori say "Yeah, Charlie wasn't very excited about that" and Mirea answer "But I would like it"... When you are tired already, that is not what you want to hear.

When I went into the kitchen Mirea said that she had given everybody a napkin; daddy, Arno, mommy and Isabel. Yeah. she said the last aupair. that have happend before, especiallt with Charlie, and I don't really care since I know how many aupairs they've had, but this time it felt humiliating. Everything happend within 5 minutes and it just felt like too much at the moment. As usual, the dinners are really strict and boring. I just sit there and wonder why I agreed to this and the family talk about whatever. This time I really thought that this is both the first and the last time I will live together in another family. It's just annoying to do everything their way and talk this small talk. They don't even know me! Sorry, for all this complaining - but I don't want to disturb Julia on her vacation ;) I have less than 2 months of work, that's what's keeping me up right now. I'm so sick and tired of this!! I know my family is great and I have the best life ever, but you still get tired of it.

Well, I guess I should go to bed and try to get some sleep. Tomorrow will be a better day :) See ya!