The question is: would I miss school when I graduate?

You who know me know that I am very unhappy at school. I don't like my program and I feel like I don't learn what I want to learn. I feel like we work with building and construction, wallpapering and painting more than we work with furnitures and details like paintings and flowerpots in the room. Non of my classmates on interior design wants to learn about what we are doing..

Here is some reasons why I should not miss my school:

long waits for the bus - I always get home late (on wintertime I leave my house when it is dark and I come home when it is dark!)
The teachers are not very high educated!
I don't like being forced to something (like attendance and so on)
I hated my program - it took me 3 years to make my teacher understand that we worked with woodwork and not decorating.
I haven't learned that much that I wanted to - everything I know I knew before! I already had my skills and I wanted to develop myself, but no.
I never felt that I belonged in my class

What do I think now?

Life is a long waiting for better times.
It doesn't matter what happends, how happy you are or how good life is - you will still wait for something else!
I am writing this to myself so I will remember that my life is not perfect now, and it won't be later eihter. I don't want to reed this blog when I am in the USA, thinking I had the best life at home and long til I get home again. I want to enjoy my life in the States, and I want to tell myself not to wish for other things the whole time. I know myself - I always dream of something else even though I just got a thing.
I want to make sure that I remember how my life is now. Right now I have issues like how to make it trought the hard Wednesdays, how much pressure it is in school and how tired I can be on the people close to me like friends and family sometimes... Life is never perfect.

I want to remember that problems do not disappear, they only change sizes!

I wonder if I can do something to make my expectations right.
Nobody knows what they will go through when they decide to go on a "lifejourney" like this, and I think it will be hard to experience everything the way you thought. My way to handle this is to have no expextations at all, but that is not easy. Every time I watch an american film I usually think "that might be the way I will live soon..."
I think it is the expectations that makes you fail in the other country if you do that, you think it will be like this and like that and you get totally broken when you realise that the reality is not even close to your thoughts. I think that is the reason why many aupairs do long home and feel bad about their family and so on.
Of course it will be hard not to have expectations, I know that. You can't do anything about your thoughts, many of them is deep inside you, maybe you don't even know that you actually expect something.
Maybe some of you out there understand what I am trying to say...

I try not to have high expectations!

Hello!
I will write in english only - my way to try to learn faster. Please excuse my spelling if you see something wrong ;)

I thought it would be good to tell you about my reflections about this trip before I go. It is now about 5-8 months before I leave and I am very exited. I know it will be both bad and good days and I look forward to see different ways of living. Here is ten things why I want to be an au pair in the USA:

1. Learn english fluently
2. Become more independent, develop myself
3. Live in an american home in real life, not just vacation
4. Become more responsible, take care of the children
5. Learn to know new people
6. Let go of my fears
7. To miss my life at home (realise how good I have it)
8. Learn how to make it through a hard time (if it will be hard)
9. To find out who I really am without friends and family
10. To be able to travel in USA

I could make the list even longer, but this is some of the reasons at least.
I think I am independet enough to discover the other side on earth, I think I can make it on my own.

I am going to try to update often, but we'll see :) byebye!

Hello!
Welcome to my new blog :)
Here I will write about my year as an au pair in the states.
I hope you like it!