Victoria i USA -

Some months later

I've been thinking a lot of USA lately. I have it in my head and heart all the time. It was definitely the best thing I have done in my life so far. This year made me become another person with new perspectives.

Many times I think of the family and my kids, how they're doing and how much I miss my life there. I would love to go back. I miss all fun nights with my friends, all the fun things we did, and USA as a conutry. I miss all my trips and vacations, everything I have seen and done. When I got back to Sweden it feels like beeing trapped. I remember saying that about USA and living with a hostfamily, but now I think it might be worse here. Sävsjö is a small town and there is nothing to do here. I don't have any friends left and some times I even miss going to school, to be social every day and know where you are in life.

It feels like everything is possible in USA. If I wanted to do something I could just do it. Everything was simple. In Sweden I feel stuck and it feels like time is just passing by without me noticing it. In america I counted the days, weeks in another way, it made me feel alive in some way. I was right there, right now. I miss our travelmonth and all the new places we visited. In Sweden everything feels so far away and the gas to the car is really expensive. It's more complecated to travel with train and bus and everything feels more like a big deal.

The things I missed with home before, like my room and Ville, I am glad to be able to enjoy more now. Ville is my best buddy who I always want to hug and hold and my room is just waiting for me to re-decorate and take care of. I also enjoy family-quality-time. A friday night with a boardgame could be so wonderful. I didn't do that for a year, so that is great. It feels better to live at home now. It works better with mom and dad, even though my biggest dream right now is to be able to move. I help more with stuff at home and I feel more responsible.

Julia is in India right now, and I have to say I am very jealous of her. She has moved on so fast. I have to make enough money to do something like that but she had more work than me so she could do it faster. I think my plan for now is to make money for a longer trip (backpacking?) or maybe move to london to study or work.

I have told myself not to meet a guy, cause I don't want to become my friends or have these guy-problems that everybody has. I want to live my life alone. It could be fun to rent an apartment with some friends for awhile, but I want to do my thing. I have also realized I want to do something important with my life. I want to help people or make some difference in the world. I think I want to do a volunteer-trip too some day. Too bad it's so expensive.

Well, these were some of my thoughts for now.

2014-02-07 @ 12:28:59 Allmänt Permalink

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